Friday, January 27, 2012

I miss you Mya

Not that I have any readers... but to chronicle my life today I will tell you about Mya and what happen one year ago.

Mya was our beautiful German Shepherd (GSD). All my life I knew I want a GSD, when I was young and lived at my grandparents house we had a GSD named Sam and I thought he was just the best. So, finally college was over, Wifey had finished and it just seemed like the right time. So after asking the landlord and then finally convincing the wifey to go look at puppies in the papers we went. We saw some white GSD's but they did not spark my fancy and then we went to the ghetto and there were the cutest little GSD puppies ever. And 2 other couples looking at them as well. I had a chubby puppy in my hands when I felt teeth around my ankle... ouch one of the puppies bit me. Wifey said immediately that she wanted that one. Okay but what about the fat one... I liked the fluffy one... she said no she wanted the feisty one. Okay, but we needed cash. I did not want to leave my fur baby behind. So, Wifey went and got the cash and we took our new baby to Petsmart. She farted all the way there out of nervousness. But so began our lives together. She was a fiesty puppy but all the new things and experiences were so much fun!! She got very sick a few days after getting her and she had to be hospitalized -- it felt so horrible leaving my baby at the dogie hospital; but she got better.

Mya was not perfect but she was our baby; sweet as pie to us but a stranger better watch out because she was 90 pounds of pure GSD.

Well, 4 years into our lives she stopped eating and was drinking more water. This was very uncommon because Mys LOVED to eat (more than I do). She was eating her dinner at odd hours or not at all. So I thought she had a stomach bug and bought her cottage cheese. Well, she started eating again. A week later I stopped the cottage cheese and she stopped eating... I thought she was just playing us to get the cottage cheese. But wifey insisted we take her to the vet.

We went to the vet and he said she looked good. I then asked him about two small marbles I felt in her neck and if that was normal. He checked and then got concerned. After checking other parts of her body he thought she either had an infection or cancer. What cancer... he said he had to do a biopsy to be sure. He took her into the back room (under light sedation -- LOVE our vet that he makes the pets comfortable). A few moments later they were back and he said he was 90% sure it was cancer after looking at her spleen. What how could this happen she's only 4 years old.

We cried all the way home... I was not ready to loose my fur baby. So we started researching and got a second opinion. There was no cure for her type of cancer; only treatment and after reading about it we opted to make her life as comfortable as possible till the end.

She was diagnosed on October 28, 2010 and lived till January 28, 2011. We decided her comfort level was lowering and we did not want her to suffer. She got chick fil a chicken nuggets and then went to be more comfortable. This was one of the hardest days of my life and I miss Mya everyday... no one will ever be here. She was the best GSD ever.

Mya will remain in our hearts forever and because of her we have rescued 2 dogs from the Greater California German Shepherd Rescue and continue to support them and possible foster more dogs.

We love you Mya!!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

It's been so long and so much has happened...(LONG Post)

I can't believe I have not posted since July. So, I had my blood work done and I have an under active thyroid. Great. So, before we can move along with the process I have to get my thyroid under control. My TSH was at 5.something... anyhow I read that it has to be between 1 and 2. The specialist disagrees. I am put on medication and wait.

I had blood drawn in September and it was lower... specialist says we can try to get pregnant. Wifey and I order sperm and we have our first IUI and BFN. October comes around... our donor had limited supply so we choose another baby daddy. This time we bought 2 vials. I wanted to do back to back IUI's but 2 doctors (at Kaiser) say that it does not really increase the percentage of getting a BFP. So, I decide to do one IUI. The two week wait (TWW) is killer and my period is one day late by the home pregnancy test (HPT) say I am not pregnant... aunt flo comes and we get our second BFN. But we still had one vial left and am excited for November. The day I ovulate happens to be a vacation day and I had plans to shop with my mom. So, Wifey and I go in for IUI #3 on November 4, 2011 and my mom waits in the waiting room. (I had a false positive OPK -- on Wednesday... Thursday an ultrasound where doctor says I look good and should ovulate in 24 hours... Friday another +OPK).

After IUI #3 my mom and I go shopping and that afternoon I have some brown discharge. That has never happened before. Again the TWW was so difficult. I took a HPT at work on 11DPO and a faint line came up... but I did not believe it and went on way thinking I was not pregnant. My period is like clock work 28 - 30 day cycles... usually 30 days. 30th day came... no period - could it be?? After spending time with wifey's God Daughter we went by the dollar store and bought 2 HPT.

The next morning (November 20, 2011) we did one and in complete disbelief it said we were pregnant. I could not believe it. After shock, excitement and nagging... wifey and I went to get a Clear Blue Easy + or - test. The plus appeared. I was still in shock. Monday morning came... it was my day off so I called the doctor's office for a blood test. Had the blood drawn and waited 24 hours. 24 hours later it was confirmed we were pregnant and my beta was in the 150 range. So excited I called OBGYN and I had an appointment on the 5th of December. Again a day my mom and I were going shopping.

I had figured it out that I should be about 5 weeks at my first appointment. We went in and had the lovely internal ultrasound. We saw the gestational sak and the yolk sak but nothing else. The Nurse Practitioner who I did not really care for said it was probably too early and knew nothing about IUI. I was disappointed and thought we'd see more. So I googled 5 week ultrasound and they look like ours. So I was relieved and excited for our next appointment on December 23rd. I was going to see our baby for Christmas.

On December 23rd we went to our appointment full of hope and excitement. The baby grew we saw what looked like a little fetal pole but no heartbeat. The doctor finally measured the baby and said we were 6 weeks which was off from my calculation of 8. The EDD was 8/17/12 but from what I googled I thought the EDD was 7/29/12. I asked the doctor but she knew nothing about IUI and could not explain anything to me. She said she was hopeful since we saw growth and checked with another doctor. He said he saw growth too. I was so disappointed to not get answers and to not see the heartbeat. My heart was sad. But I was trying to have faith that it was just too soon still.

Our third appointment was on January 9, 2012. I went in believing I would see the heartbeat and all my worries would go away. Although my motherly instinct said something was wrong. And sure enough the baby had actually gotten smaller and there was no heartbeat. After consulting a doctor the Nurse Practitioner confirmed the baby had stopped developing and called it a missed abortion. My heart broke in so many pieces that day. My worst fear had come true... we were experiencing a miscarriage.

We were given options and after much thought we went with the D&C on January 12... just 6 days ago. My heart still hurts and I find myself in tears more than I would like... but I know it will get better and I am thankful we get to try again.

So, here we are today... January 18th and I have never wanted my period to come more than now. I believe we have to wait 2 periods and make sure they are normal and I ovulate before we can try... but I am anxious and can't wait to have a healthy pregnancy and bring home a healthy baby!!!

2011 did not start off good... but it got better and we finally decided to have a family. 2012 did not start off well either... but my hope is it will get better and I believe we will be pregnant this year!!

Sorry for the long post... but so much has happened and I needed to share it.