Thursday, August 2, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
This is my story...
Wow, it's been a while since I posted. Since my last post we have had 2 more BFN's and we are currently on a break. Over the past year and half I have been reading blogs and comparing myself to the rest of you TTC and what I need to do is realize my story is different from everyone elses. We all have unique stories and they are all different.
Don't get me wrong I am struggling with my story. My heart is broken and I am having a hard time repairing it. I have lot's of anxiety and I worry that my story will never include a child. I need to work on being okay with my story. Today, I am going to go and talk to someone about my story and hopefully get some help -- I need to become okay with my story.
I am not sure what's in store for my future, but I do not believe we are done TTC. We are just on a short break. So while my blog is about our road to motherhood, my road is taking some different directions... I think my GPS is broken!! What I am trying to say is that if anyone reads my blog, please understand that I may post about other subjects for the next few months that are not related to TTC. My goal is to chronicle my road more often than I have been. Well see if I can.
Till next time... safe travels.
Oh, I am on instragram. Follow me -- zoeandjakesmom.
Don't get me wrong I am struggling with my story. My heart is broken and I am having a hard time repairing it. I have lot's of anxiety and I worry that my story will never include a child. I need to work on being okay with my story. Today, I am going to go and talk to someone about my story and hopefully get some help -- I need to become okay with my story.
I am not sure what's in store for my future, but I do not believe we are done TTC. We are just on a short break. So while my blog is about our road to motherhood, my road is taking some different directions... I think my GPS is broken!! What I am trying to say is that if anyone reads my blog, please understand that I may post about other subjects for the next few months that are not related to TTC. My goal is to chronicle my road more often than I have been. Well see if I can.
Till next time... safe travels.
Oh, I am on instragram. Follow me -- zoeandjakesmom.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
BFN #6
So our guy did not get it done!! We got our BFN #6 on the 11th. I took a HPT in the morning and nothing - as white as white can be. Thank goodness I only bought one from the dollar store. I have been sad about the BFN and I am not sure why. I keep thinking about that November morning when we found out we were pregnant and how happy we were. I want that again and I want a baby to stick and grow. I feel very impatient!!! I also can not figure out how to turn off the weekly pregnancy updates I signed up for with Web MD and I am constantly getting reminders that I should be pregnant.
Okay, enough of the pitty party. We have ordered more sperm from the bank and we are still using clomid because I respond well and Wifey does not want multiples. We went back to our guy that got us pregnant -- so hopefully he can do it again??
This road to motherhood sure has taken me on some turns I never expected and seems to be taking a lot longer than I thought.
Well, here's to try number 7... I believe it is going to happen over the holiday weekend. I think May 26th. Man these TWW seem to be getting longer.
Okay, enough of the pitty party. We have ordered more sperm from the bank and we are still using clomid because I respond well and Wifey does not want multiples. We went back to our guy that got us pregnant -- so hopefully he can do it again??
This road to motherhood sure has taken me on some turns I never expected and seems to be taking a lot longer than I thought.
Well, here's to try number 7... I believe it is going to happen over the holiday weekend. I think May 26th. Man these TWW seem to be getting longer.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
6dpIUI - Random Post
I am feeling really random... here are some of my thoughts at 6dpiui
I have no clue what I feel or think about this try -- sometimes I feel at peace and then other moments I am anxious and freaking out. I know my lining was good and I had two good follicles, but this process is all about timing. Then I start thinking maybe we choose the wrong donor and he's just not getting the job done!
I want this so bad and sometimes it seems so unattainable.
Well, at this point I have the usual symptoms that I get each month when my mind plays tricks on me -- full filling breasts, constipation, bloat feeling and tiredness. Oh, the TWW is so much fun.
Tomorrow, we go in for our injectable class. Not sure if we are going to try them next month -- if we are having to try again. If we have to try again, we are going back to our donor that got me pregnant last November and since I did well on clomid -- 2 follicles is good right? Then we may try one more round with clomid.
Waiting and praying.
I have no clue what I feel or think about this try -- sometimes I feel at peace and then other moments I am anxious and freaking out. I know my lining was good and I had two good follicles, but this process is all about timing. Then I start thinking maybe we choose the wrong donor and he's just not getting the job done!
I want this so bad and sometimes it seems so unattainable.
Well, at this point I have the usual symptoms that I get each month when my mind plays tricks on me -- full filling breasts, constipation, bloat feeling and tiredness. Oh, the TWW is so much fun.
Tomorrow, we go in for our injectable class. Not sure if we are going to try them next month -- if we are having to try again. If we have to try again, we are going back to our donor that got me pregnant last November and since I did well on clomid -- 2 follicles is good right? Then we may try one more round with clomid.
Waiting and praying.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Good Weekend, Good Life
I can't believe the weekend is over. Where does time go?? I had a great birthday weekend and my mom and wifey spoiled me!! Heck, my friends spoiled me too. My old co-workers took me out last Tuesday for lunch and we ate at Star Ginger near east Sacramento and I had the to-die for Pai-Thai. It was soooo good. Then Thursday my current co-worker took me to Capitol Garage downtown and it was the best meal I had in a long time!!!
Thursday I got my positive OPK. I am like clock work and lately have been getting them on CD 14. I went in for an ultrasound and my lining was at 11 and I had two follicles - one was 24 and the other was 18. The nurse said everything looked awesome.
That night I picked my mom up for some celebrating -- we did some major damage at the Ann Taylor Outlet in Vacaville. Then we had Chick-Fil-A!! Yummy!!
Friday morning we were up and out the door for acupuncture at 9 a.m. Then the IUI at 11:20 and back to acupuncture. During the post appointment I experienced an overwhelming sense of peace and relaxation with a gold type light/feeling through out my body -- hopefully this meant something good. After acupuncture we went and got pedi's and did a little more shopping before dinner. We ate at Fat's and Roseville and it was by far the worst meal I've had in a long time with mediocre service.
So, my 6th IUI was a day filled with happy thoughts and fun happenings.
Wifey made my birthday special; surprising me with flowers, balloons and bundt cakes from Nothing Bundt Cakes. We went and saw "The Lucky One" -- it was okay and then we had dinner with our friend. Oh, and Jake got his splint off on the morning of my birthday. He broke his toe really bad two months ago and it has been a costly experience.
It was a great weekend -- and in two weeks we will know if this cycle worked. If not we change donors and decide to do one more round of clomid or move on to injectables. I hope we do not have to make these decisions.
To all those in their TWW or newly pregnant -- I am sending positive sticky vibes!!!
Happy Monday!!!
Thursday I got my positive OPK. I am like clock work and lately have been getting them on CD 14. I went in for an ultrasound and my lining was at 11 and I had two follicles - one was 24 and the other was 18. The nurse said everything looked awesome.
That night I picked my mom up for some celebrating -- we did some major damage at the Ann Taylor Outlet in Vacaville. Then we had Chick-Fil-A!! Yummy!!
Friday morning we were up and out the door for acupuncture at 9 a.m. Then the IUI at 11:20 and back to acupuncture. During the post appointment I experienced an overwhelming sense of peace and relaxation with a gold type light/feeling through out my body -- hopefully this meant something good. After acupuncture we went and got pedi's and did a little more shopping before dinner. We ate at Fat's and Roseville and it was by far the worst meal I've had in a long time with mediocre service.
So, my 6th IUI was a day filled with happy thoughts and fun happenings.
Wifey made my birthday special; surprising me with flowers, balloons and bundt cakes from Nothing Bundt Cakes. We went and saw "The Lucky One" -- it was okay and then we had dinner with our friend. Oh, and Jake got his splint off on the morning of my birthday. He broke his toe really bad two months ago and it has been a costly experience.
It was a great weekend -- and in two weeks we will know if this cycle worked. If not we change donors and decide to do one more round of clomid or move on to injectables. I hope we do not have to make these decisions.
To all those in their TWW or newly pregnant -- I am sending positive sticky vibes!!!
Happy Monday!!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
This week is a good week...
I have good feelings about this week!!! Good News was just announced about TV reality Stars Giuliana and Bill Rancic are pregnant!!! I am so happy for them. I've watched their show in re-runs and their struggle with fertility and then her cancer was heart breaking. I am soooo excited for them and wish them all the best. I believe the end of April is going to be a good month!!
Since we are talking celebs... did you hear Megan Fox is pregnant and has anyone confirmed if Drew Barrymore has a bun in the oven? Plus, when is Jessica Simpson going to pop her kid out - she's like 2 right?? She is on celeb that it seems like she's been pregnant f-o-r-e-v-e-r! Maybe she'll have her daughter on my birthday.
Did I mention it's my birthday this Saturday and I am celebrating my birthday week?? So, far it's been a great week and today I am having lunch with some fabulous ladies, tomorrow I am having lunch with another fab women... she's kinda like a second mom to me and then Thursday I am having lunch with my wonderful cube neighbor!! Plus, my mom bought season tickets to Sacramento Broadway and we are going to see some fantastic shows this next year!! Happy Birthday to me!!! Ya!!! Happy Tuesday!Monday, April 23, 2012
Monday Morning Happiness
Good Morning Blog World!!! This morning when I logged on I noticed a lot going on in our little corner of the world and I want to take a moment and acknowledge a few. First - CONGRATULATIONS to Shells and Trouble at http://2012aconceptionodyssey.wordpress.com/ who got their BFP last Friday. I am always looking for new blogs and stumbled upon theirs a few weeks ago. Second - I want to wish Lex at http://crazylesbianmom.blogspot.com/ luck and sticky vibes on her IUI today!! Lex will be one week ahead of me in the TWW. I believe I will have my LH surge on Thursday for my IUI on Friday -- secretly I am hoping the my LH surge will occur Friday for the IUI on Saturday because Saturday is my Birhtday and I am turning the big 30.
Last year I made a list of 30 things to do before I turn 30 and the first item on the list was get pregnant. Technically, I did accomplish this back in November, but sadly we lost our little peanut. So wouldn't it be wonderful if I got pregnant on my 30th Birthday??? Plus, we would find out on Mother's Day weekend and the baby would be born at the end of January, beginning of February and Wifey's birthday is February. So, I am hoping all of this will lead to the stars aligning and for the egg and sperm to meet this month.
On May 4th we go in for our injectables class. Should things not work this month we've talked about trying this next step next month. I know I said we are going to take a break... but I can not think about taking a break yet... I feel so close to my BFP. I think we should try one round with injectables should this month not work and then re-evaluate. I also have thoughts on 2 back to back IUI's but I want to discuss that later and separately.
Cheers to the start of a great birthday week!!!
Last year I made a list of 30 things to do before I turn 30 and the first item on the list was get pregnant. Technically, I did accomplish this back in November, but sadly we lost our little peanut. So wouldn't it be wonderful if I got pregnant on my 30th Birthday??? Plus, we would find out on Mother's Day weekend and the baby would be born at the end of January, beginning of February and Wifey's birthday is February. So, I am hoping all of this will lead to the stars aligning and for the egg and sperm to meet this month.
On May 4th we go in for our injectables class. Should things not work this month we've talked about trying this next step next month. I know I said we are going to take a break... but I can not think about taking a break yet... I feel so close to my BFP. I think we should try one round with injectables should this month not work and then re-evaluate. I also have thoughts on 2 back to back IUI's but I want to discuss that later and separately.
Cheers to the start of a great birthday week!!!
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