C is for Crocodile

Yesterday, the world lost a sweet little boy... Caemon (http://cisforcrocodile.wordpress.com/). Wifey and I have been following his fight via facebook and his blog from the beginning. While I do not know this family, I have been following them for some time - 2 years ago when I was searching how to start the process I came across their blog http://reproducinggenius.wordpress.com/ and have sporadically followed their lives raising their Boy Genius. They are awesome moms who helped their son fight six months of a rare form of Leukemia.

My heart broke yesterday when Wifey told me about the facebook post. I truly believed he would be a miracle. I can not imagine the pain and grief his moms are feeling. I pray for them during this difficult time that they find refuge in each other and strength from their families.

Please visit the facebook page or blog... read about this AMAZING little boy. Should you be moved to please leave a note of condolence for his moms.

Facebook page for Caring for Caemon: http://www.facebook.com/#!/CaringforCaemon?fref=ts
Blog set up after the cancer diagnosis: http://cisforcrocodile.wordpress.com/

Caemon... you have touched my life in ways you will never know! You inspired me to give blood and become a bone marrow donor. You were here only a short time but touched so many lives!!! Angels walk amongst us on earth and then watch over us in heaven. Caemon, I know your watching over your moms.

The Yellow Brick Road to IVF

Wifey and I decided we are going to try IVF. It's very scary knowing we have one shot at this! But we are going for it in hopes that more than one embryo will make it to the blastocyst stage (I think that's what you call it) so we can freeze them for later attempts.

We meet with the nurse to go over all the paperwork last week. She was sooo nice and I am lucky I have most of the pre blood work and other tests done. So right now we wait for my next period... towards the end of February. At that point I will go on birth control till my next period in March. Retrieval will be early April.

This all very scary but exciting. April is my birthday and I pray I get the present I want!!!

CREATE

Happy New Year!!! It's a fresh start on a brand new year... with brand new possibilities!!! I am looking forward to this year!!! Ali Edwards does a thing called one little word and its a word to focus on, mediate on, and reflect upon as you go about your daily life. A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow.
http://aliedwards.com/2012/12/one-little-word-2013.html

I have always wanted to participate but never did. Well this year, I choose my word -- CREATE!

My goals are to...

• Create a baby
• Create a new me by eating healthy and working out (signed up at a gym closer to home yesterday)
• Create new projects
• Create healthy meals at home
• Create cards and remember to mail them for my friends and family birthdays
• Create a cleaning schedule and stick to it

There's so much more that I want to "create" this year... but the word sums up my goals for this year!!

A re-cap of this past week:
My mom and I went and saw Cathy Rigby's Peter Pan last Friday. I've never been a big Peter Pan fan but I really enjoyed the play. The sets were magnificent, the cast was great and the flying and pixie dust were amazing.

We had a great new year and spent a low key evening with friends! I am sad the holiday's are over and it's back to the grind. The only fun part of diving into work in the new year is pulling out the new calendars. I got a cute little county weekly planner for work and I love it. Each week is a new country scene and it makes me dream about a simpler life.

And just for fun... I am really into hats lately and got this cute one for Christmas.

Happy New Year!!! I hope this year is AMAZING!!!



Christmas 2012

This year was not how I envisioned Christmas. Last year I thought we would have a little baby to focus on. But that dream did not become a reality. So, I came up with a new dream of being pregnant. The last few months we had not been able to try due to a cyst. After Thanksgiving we found out I was cyst free and we could try this month... a Christmas gift to us!

This month we tried our first ever double shot. I've lost track on how many IUIs we have done, but needless to say they did not work. Christmas was the big day we would find out. Christmas morning brought me the gift of my period. Needless to say I was devastated and am feeling hopeless. Thank goodness for my wonderful wife and family. I made the best of the day. I am still feeling depressed and not looking forward to going back to work, but my vacation is over and it did not result in a baby :(.

2013 I hope will bring happiness and a baby. We are hoping to try IVF this spring. Fingers crossed this year our dream will come true!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!!!

My next post will feature my beautiful ornament from the ornament swap.

Lucky but need advice...

Yesterday, wifey and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. I am sure you remember my post from August with a picture of my pretty ring... my love gave me the last bad needed to complete my ring and said it was an early anniversary present. I was over the moon with my present and did not expect any present on our actual celebration, but last night I came home to a clean house and other surprises. We first went to vote and took all the kids (2 furbabies + 1 foster furbaby) with us. After, we went out to dinner. When I got in the car my wifey had an anniversary song playing, made me a card (see picture below) and handed me a present. In the box was a picture of a custom license plate which she ordered for me and a cd. The cd had two beautiful songs on it that she said expressed her feelings to me. How sweet!! We drove to the restaurant hand in hand. After dinner we came home to more good news... Obama was re-elected!!! What a great evening and I am one lucky girl!!

While I am lucky in love, I have not been lucky in the TTC realm! I need advice... We have tried acupuncture, changed donors, but we've had no luck. I am a little overweight and love sweets. I also have hasimotos disease but it is controlled with medication (my TSH is about 2.5). I drink a cup of coffee a day and I love diet coke (trying to cut back again). During the first part of the year I had given up both, but we never got pregnant so in all the stress and frustration I fell off the wagon. I do not smoke or drink and all my tests appear normal. So why am I not getting pregnant??? Any advice. By the way, I can not change doctors/clinics... I have Kaiser and my insurance covers a lot of the cost of the IUIs and tests and we would not be able to afford a private office. Again, please leave a comment if you have any advice for me!!! Thanks!!!

Birth control and my weekend

Went to the doctors for clomid on Thursday and found out I still have a cyst on my left ovary. It did not shrink or grow... it's still 16 mm. Ughhh! The nurse practitioner (NP) suggested I try birth control this month to shrink it. I've never been on birth control but so far so good.

I was extremely upset when I heard the news. The NP said she did not understand why I was not getting pregnant... so heart breaking. I did a whole bunch of blood work in day 3 of my cycle (Friday) so we will see if the tests tell us anything. Part of me hopes we find something because I feel like we are beating our head against a wall without knowing why.

So, Thursday was disappointing but the weekend was fun! My mom came up and we did some Christmas decor shopping. Got some great stuff.


We also went and saw the Broadway musical Memphis. It was really good. Our next show is Peter Pan!

Today, wifey and I went out to breakfast, Costco (dog food only) and Joann's Fabric. While we were at Joann's I saw the blogger from In Pursuit of Giggles, but I was to shy to introduce myself. I felt a little star struck... their baby was so cute too!

Now we are watching football, dogs asleep, and enjoying this beautiful fall day!

Here are a few photos from the weekend.

October is not my month...

Well... the iui (#9) last month did not work. On October 1st I got my lovely period (sorry tmi). I had known it was coming because I tested Saturday and got the BFN. I was so upset. It really hit me hard this time. I feel so defeated.

We decided to try one more time and then save money for IVF next year. So I went in today to get clonus and the doctor found a cyst in my ovary and said we would have to skip this month. Ugghhh a forced break and another month we are not pregnant. This road is a lot harder and sadder than I ever imagined.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer.